So although I'm frustrated about the time its taking me to enlist, I am still very excited. Also, I'm getting my ego back. =P I'm still not sure if that's a good thing or not. LOL. Just kidding. No for the past year, I felt like I kind of lost myself. Now I feel like I'm finding myself again, and I've got my ego back! I realize that no one person can hold me back from what I want in life. I'm better than that. I will no longer wait around for anyone. It's my life now, and dammit I'm going to live it up! Try and keep up! I dare you.

Frustration

This entire enlistment process is so frustrating! I am not going to MEPS in the morning, because of some paperwork details. My trip is postponed indefinitely. I'm so mad! I just want to get started already. Fuck! Why are you people trying to hold me back from starting my new life already? Dammit! I know its not my recruiters fault (even though he can be kind of flaky sometimes), but its frustrating all the same. Also I learned today that I hate signing my middle name to documents. I have to sign everything with my first, middle and last name. Suddenly my signature, which I spent 28 years perfecting, is ugly and awkward. I hate seeing it. My middle name looks so grotesque next to my last name. It's unnatural. But that's just the trivial stuff I'm trying to focus on so I don't get too upset about the canceled trip just yet. I'm getting so nervous, like I'm not going to get in or whatever. How terrible would it be if I didn't get to enlist because of some silly thing that happened a million years ago. It was practically another lifetime. And after I've told everyone that I'm going and convinced everyone that this is the right thing for me. How terrible. I'm so frustrated right now that I want to cry. I just want to be IN already! I want to sign my contract. I want to be in boot camp being yelled at already. I haven't wanted anything this bad in such a long time, and it feels good to want again.

Paperwork

My recruiter stopped by today. I'm not very good at answering my phone especially when I'm sleeping. So I didn't wake up until he knocked on the door and all the dogs started barking. I answered in my jammies. Most people would find this embarrassing but I have really cute jammies and I don't embarrass easily. =) I had to sign some paperwork so he could run a police report on me. My record in Las Vegas is clear. =) Super happy about that!! I have another meeting with him tomorrow at noon, where we will discuss MEPS and other things. He'll probably tell me I can't drink caffeine until after MEPS. I live on caffeine, so this will be hard. So I'm going to go drink a case of soda pop that way I can live on fumes for the next few days =P LOL

Studying for ASVAB

Not fun! The more practice quizzes I take the more I feel like an idiot. It's been almost ten years since I've taken a math class. I never really categorized myself as a math whiz in the first place and judging by my results thus far, I never will be. I just hope that they don't expect much math-wise from the careers I'm choosing from. Grrrr! Frustration!!

Super Excited!!

I met with my recruiters boss today (my recruiter is out of town). We scheduled my MEPS trip for Thursday the 24th of June. I'm super excited!! I wanted more time to study for ASVAB but he said I was fine based on my pre-test scores. If all goes well with MEPS I will be signing my contract on June 25th and officially be in the Navy DEP. After that I have to take the DLAB test for CTI. I'm super excited! I don't even know what else to write right now!! LOL

Preparing for ASVAB

I recieved my ASVAB study guide today in the mail and I'm super excited! It's been a long time since I've had to study for anything! I'm actually really looking forward to it. The better I do on ASVAB the better job offers the Navy will give me. My recruiter called me today and I have to go in tomorrow to schedule my first MEPS trip. I want to schedule it at least a month out so I can study hard for the ASVAB. I'm really nervous. I'm more nervous about this test than I am about basic training. I'm so excited about so many things right now!!!!!

Frustration

I hate people who play games. My boyfriend is not very supportive of me signing up for the Navy. If I do join we will probably most definately break up. I'm not very happy with the idea of that, but I'm sick and tired of waiting around for a guy who doesn't want to marry me. I have NO career and they way I look at it now, I have no future. The military would offer me job security, and wonderful benefits. And my future would be up to me, not someone else. He says he is still looking to buy a house in Las Vegas, which is where I currently live. When I asked if I'll be able to live there with him, he said, "Well, you're joining the Navy, so you'll live on a boat." At that point in the conversation, I hung up on him. He also says he doesn't think he wants to marry someone in the military because I'll be gone so often. But really how is that so much different from the way we live right now? He lives in San Diego and I live in Vegas. We hardly see each other as it is. It's pretty obvious to me that he doesn't see a future for us even if I DON'T enlist. And maybe if I saw a future or some sliver of hope, I might be more hesitant as well. Either way this is MY life and NOONE elses. I need to make a future for myself instead of waiting around for other people to determine when I'm "good enough".

DAY ONE

I am not officially in the Navy yet. I went last Saturday to meet with my recruiter for the first time. The decision to join the military is something that has been on my mind for about a month now. I am currently a 28 year old unemployed cocktail waitress in Las Vegas, NV. I have been cocktailing since I was 21. I finally decided that its time to make something out of my life. I need to stop living for other people and make my own life and my own career. Yes I would love to finish school finally, but I cannot afford it at this time. I currently have NO source of income and live with my mom and my uncle. I decided to join the Navy because my dad is in the Navy (lifer) and if there is a war (which I'm sure there will be soon) I would prefer to be on a boat instead of on the front lines like the Army or Marines. I go Wednesday to schedule my first MEPS trip. I want to schedule it for at least a month out, so I have time to study for ASVAB. I really want to go into CTI or IS. CTI is a rating based in foreign languages and IS is an intelligence specialist. What I choose has to do with how I do on my ASVAB and what is available at the time. This is a big decision to make, but I'm very excited to have something to look forward to.